Monthly Archive for March, 2007

Thoughts at Random

Published
by
Daniel-San
on March 30, 2007
in NBA and Thoughts
. 0 Comments

- Frankie Muniz is on the lam.

That picture above is from my camera phone from more than 10 miles away (with awful resolution). It looked like a bomb went off.

It was a fire that was reportedly started in the parking lot of Oakwood Apartments, a short-term high rent community that resides on one end of the Hollywood Hills and usually houses stars when they are in town. The likes of Malcolm in the Middle’s Frankie Muniz and Lizzie McGuire’s Hilary Duff have lived there. It was believed to be started by some idiots setting off fireworks in the parking lot against the hill, which is the driest it has been in years due to the lack of rain during our rain season.

The LA media was hilarious on this story. Fires and car chases are reported with the utmost urgency, and when they realized no one was hurt and it wasn’t going to come near any houses, they started making the story about the Hollywood sign. “The fire could spread up the hill and destroy the sign!” “The sign was just redone in 2005, this would be a tragedy.” It’s a friggin’ sign, People!

Welcome to Los Angeles. Wow.

- Gutenberg! The Musical! is an off-Broadway play about Johannes Gutenberg, the inventor of the printing press, not Steve Guttenberg, the star of Police Academy. It does, though, use the confusion hilariously in this brilliant promotion:
VIDEO

- Lebron James is co-hosting the ESPY’s this summer with Jimmy Kimmel and he mentions that he doesn’t plan on sticking to the script and that he’s going to wing it. I could take this a lot of different ways here, but I’m just going to go with Lebron James is a stuck up idiot.

- A very sad story about an Emmy-winning writer who is now homeless in Cleveland. Jack Hanrahan is 74-years-old now and he claims he is not going crazy, but just going through hard times. At the end of the article, the writer mentions he starts crying and then speaks about himself in the 3rd person. “Jackie Hanrahan doesn’t quit, ” said Hanrahan. “No reverse, like a car.”

He’s a former writer and the best analogy he could come up with of things that don’t go in reverse was a car? Cars even have a designated setting of reverse, reverse lights- they are reverse. Even something ridiculous, like, “No reverse, like an apple” would have been better. A car is like the only thing that doesn’t make sense there. It makes perfect no-sense.

- John Spernak, 42, led police on a high-speed car chase in Stratford, CT and then claimed to be Vice-President Dick Cheney. He later admitted he wasn’t Cheney (oh really?) and was former “Charlie’s Angels” star Jaclyn Smith. Man, it sucks to be Jaclyn Smith’s ego right about now.

- I hate to link to a video that has almost a million views already, but I hadn’t seen it and it’s spectacular. The woman (Janice) just doesn’t care. Her laughter grows. It’s just fantastic.
VIDEO

NBA at Random

Published
by
Daniel-San
on March 29, 2007
in Cleveland Cavaliers, Los Angeles Lakers, My Roommate and NBA
. 8 Comments

Kobe and Lebron seem to have more in common every day.

The Lakers are solidly in the playoffs out in the tougher Western Conference and the Cavaliers are pushing for the 1-seed in the East. Each team has one of the best players in the league, if not the two best. At times, their offenses are dependent upon these two to make plays. In my opinion, both teams could beat any team on any given night mainly because of these players. They could also lose to any team on any given night.

On Wednesday the Cavaliers lost in New York to the Knicks and on Tuesday the Lakers lost to the worst team in the league, the Memphis Grizzlies, at Staples Center. So far this season the Cavs have lost to Charlotte twice, New York twice, and Atlanta, Seattle, Portland, and Philadelphia once, while the Lakers have lost to Milwaukee (one without Kobe), Portland, Charlotte, Memphis, and New York (one without Kobe) twice and Seattle and Philadelphia once each. Without those 4 wins the Knicks would be below .400, but instead they are a game and a half out of a playoff spot. Memphis, Seattle, and Portland are the 3 worst teams in the West, while Philadelphia, Charlotte, Milwaukee, and Atlanta are 4 of the 5 worst teams in the East (neither has lost to lowly Boston yet this year).

So why is it that these teams can dominate San Antonio and beat teams like Dallas and Detroit yet chalk up 20 losses, combined, to the bottom of the NBA? Well, as I mentioned, it’s too much dependence on these two stars. Many people say that this is a necessity, that Kobe Bryant and Lebron James are the only players on their teams, so they have to. I just don’t agree with that. The Lakers have many talented offensive players: Lamar Odom, Brian Cook, Luke Walton, Smush Parker (maybe the worst defensive player in the league, though), Ronny Turiaf (very underrated offensively), and even Vladimir Radmonivic (when healthy). In Lebron’s case, he has above average, I’d say even very good, post players in Zydrunas Ilgauskas (a former All-Star) and Dwight Gooden and decent wing players in Sasha Pavlovic and Larry Hughes. So I don’t accept the argument that these teams need to depend on these two stars because they don’t have any other players. They have other players that have talent; Lamar Odom, Brian Cook, and Ronny Turiaf were college stars, so was Drew Gooden. Larry Hughes was considered good enough to be given that ridiculous contract he has and Sasha and Luke are both developing into very nice offensive players that will both get good free agent money this off-season.

So even if they don’t need to, these players do dominate the ball. It is just in them. For one, they are both wing players, not a Center who needs someone to get them the ball and then passes out of double teams nor are they Point Guards who are needing their players to move around and are thinking pass first. These two often become “ball-stoppers” or players who literally stop the movement of the ball around the court to jack up a shot or take on their man one-on-one. And this is usually with Mike Brown or Phil Jackson’s blessing. If they came off screens more or used more pick and roll or actually ran an offense, rather than drive and dish or drive and shoot or just shoot, I’d like their chances at consistency better. It would alleviate much of the offensive pressure off Kobe and Lebron, but they would still touch the ball almost every time down the court.

So maybe coaching is to blame. If Mike Brown and Phil Jackson made Kobe and Lebron run the offense more, then maybe there would be less of Kobe jacking up a 3 with a second left on the shot clock or Lebron driving and dishing to Larry Hughes for a missed open jumper with no time on the shot clock. Coaching lineup changes have also definitely caused this inconsistency. As My Roommate actually brought up, Mike Brown has had players like Damon Jones, Eric Snow, Ira Newble, Daniel Gibson, and David Wesley all getting minutes at times and then other times not even getting in several games. Sasha Pavlovic also is getting a lot more playing time now and Larry Hughes’ minutes have also been messed around with. This has caused Lebron to not really be able to count on a standard group of guys. Same goes with the Lakers, although much of their lineup changes have been due to injury. But Phil Jackson has definitely messed with Kobe’s teammates’ confidences, despite injuries, such as benching Andrew Bynum for long stretches, not playing Jordan Farmar of late, not playing Aaron McKie or Shammond Williams earlier in the year at all and then getting minutes now. Both Kobe and Lebron can’t even count on 1 single player this entire season, as they have either been hurt or had long stretches during games where they just aren’t on the floor (like with Z’s 4th quarter benchings).

But it’s more than just coaching and other players depending too much on them. Is it defense? Teams with bad defense tend to lose if they have an off shooting night while teams that play very good defense can withstand those nights they are off. The Lakers don’t really play much defense despite having one of the so-called best defenders in the league on their team (Kobe). But the Cavs have certainly improved defensively and that doesn’t really apply to them and Mike Brown’s defense-first attitude. So maybe it is just based on coaching.

Then you look at their Point Guard play. Then look around the league at Detroit (Chauncey Billups), Toronto (Jose Calderon and TJ Ford), Washington (Gilbert Arenas), Chicago (Kirk Hinrich), Dallas (Jason Terry and Devin Harris), Phoenix (Steve Nash), San Antonio (Tony Parker), and Utah (Deron Williams). All teams with very good to great Point Guard or Lead Guard play. These are the teams that atop the Western and Eastern Conference standings, as well.

Both Kobe and Lebron lead their team in assists. It’s obvious that they aren’t Point Guards, though; they aren’t looking to pass first all the time. They get double teamed so much that obviously there has to be an open man around somewhere to make a shot to get many of those assists, too. As I said earlier, these two are so good that it might not matter some nights and Kobe could go for 35 and 11 assists in a win, but he could also go for 35 and 4 and lead his team in assists in a ten point loss to the Bobcats. Smush Parker, Jordan Farmar, Shammond Williams, Eric Snow, Damon Jones- these aren’t Championship calliber PG’s. These are NBDL calliber. Jason Hart of the Clippers right now is making Cavaliers and Lakers Management look ridiculous.

Consistency will lead you to championships. So, yes, the Cavaliers or Lakers could make it to the Conference Finals, easy, I wouldn’t be surprised, but they could also lose in the first round and I wouldn’t bat an eyelash. Point Guard play is key to your consistency. They keep the offense on their toes (as well as the opposing defense) and allow many players to get involved so that when Drew Gooden or Brian Cook is needed in the 4th quarter, their warm enough to make a shot.

So not only is coaching to blame in these two inconsistency cases, but the General Managers are, too. The Cavs and Lakers should have tried harder to get a Mike Bibby or a Jason Kidd- or even a Jason Hart- to make their teams better, more consistent. Danny Ferry, Mitch Kupchak, Mike Brown, and Phil Jackson are all to blame in this case. If the coaches aren’t provided with a sufficient enough playmaker, they must try to force their playmaking wishes upon the court.

Neither of these teams will win a championship until they solve their Point Guard issues, despite the greatness of Lebron and Kobe.

Thoughts at Random

Published
by
Daniel-San
on March 28, 2007
in Movies and Thoughts
. 4 Comments

- David Hicks is a 31-year-old Australian Outback Cowboy who is being held in Guantanamo Bay because he is being accused of fighting for the Taliban in Afghanistan. Here is a photo of him that was submitted by his family. You know David is in prison right now and during his one phone call to his family he said, “Please, whatever you do, just don’t give the press that photo of me where you can practically see my scrotum.”

And look around in that picture: relaxing in a lawn chair with short shorts, some cans on the ground, maybe some matches and cigarettes, a car that probably doesn’t work in the background. Add to that the fact that this guy was a Cowboy and Australia not only has summer when we have winter, but our Conservative Hicks are their Liberal, fighting for Afghanistan White Trash. Apparently it’s quite a different world on the other side of the hemisphere (and I didn’t even mention the way the toilet water flows).

- Someone recently sent me a couple of links that I must share with others. First, an addicting game in which you are a generic office worker and you have five minutes to kill yourself. It is amazing.

And, even more amazing, is a video that was linked on LAist showing Kermit the Frog do Johnny Cash covering NIN’s “Hurt”. Watch for the greatest cameo of all-time by Ralph the Dog.

(on a related note- Kermit longs for Miss Piggy in the video, which brings me to my opinion about the Kermit/Miss Piggy relationship. I never really saw them as a good couple. Kermit was such an “aww shucks” kinda guy who was a natural born leader and Miss Piggy was a dominant bitch. I hated her- I hated everything about her. She was materialistic, stuck up, and spoiled. I loved much of “The Muppets take Manhattan” because Kermit had amnesia and forgot about his old life and told Miss Piggy off (I also like this part very much). He goes off on one of the greatest rants in movie history: “Me? In love with a pig? Ha ha! Wait ’til I tell the guys in Marketing. Maybe you expected me to go hog wild! Oh, good, maybe you expect me to BRING HOME THE BACON! Ah, the sounds of love- su-weeeee, oink oink!”

She then HITS him and he flies across the room (she often was violent). This “cures” him (knocks some sense in to him) and he goes out and jumps off the cliff (AKA marries Miss Piggy). I loved Kermit and it always hurt me to see him become such a little bitch every time Miss Piggy came around.)

- Here is a NY Times article about one kid who is bringing a dangerous “Game” teenagers are playing more and more frequently into the light. Many of you may have heard of it, it’s called the “Choking Game” (Wikipedia has about two dozen other names it has been called). The basis of the “Game” is to reduce the supply of oxygen to the brain and then letting a massive blood flow back in to get a high. It’s free, it easy, and it’s dangerous- obviously, from a teens perspective- what’s more to love?

The kid in the article was clinically dead and somehow made it back and is now going around, telling his story. There’s plenty more stories out there. Here, here, and here- just to name a few. Those other stories I just linked to all resulted in the death of a teenager.

I’ve heard of the game before this. Mostly done in hazing situations or in those old news reports where some kid died, I just didn’t realize how widespread it was.

I don’t have some cryptic take on it or some take where I call these kids idiots or a take like these kids need better things to do or in my day we played with fire for a rush, not tried to kill ourselves. None of that. And I’m not trying to be proactive and let my (two) readers know about it, but I just thought I’d bring it up. I just thought it was interesting and I wanted to put it out there without me being an idiot about it.

- Now I’d like to get serious for a moment. Many people, like our favorite Sports Boy, often talk about how they ignored Rocky V, the one with Tommy Gunn. They just ignored its existence. I was much the same to The Next Karate Kid, starring Hilary Swank and a highly drunk Pat Morita. I even own the DVD (came in the box set), but I have never watched it.

Now I will be forced to do this with the Teen Wolf series, which I own both movies (front and back of one DVD- genius). The third installment of the franchise will be about a girl Teen Wolf, just like The Next Karate Kid. It was national news because Tom Welling from “Smallville” has signed on to play some sort of character in the film. (iwatchstuff.com had a great line: “…proving Superman’s greatest weakness is not kryptonite but a really shitty agent.”)

Now, admittedly, the wittily titled Teen Wolf Too with Jason Bateman was quite awful. I mean really, really bad- but it had Stiles, it was the 80’s, you know, things happen. But now they are doing it to me again with this stupid girl thing. I just can’t take it anymore. What’s next- Hayden Panettiere as a wacky teen who needs to go back in time to change her dress in Back to the Future IV: Prom Nightmare? Please… stop.

NFL at Random

Published
by
Daniel-San
on March 27, 2007
in NFL
. 0 Comments

If there’s one thing the film Major League taught us, it’s that winning keeps you in town.

A story that sort of slipped through the cracks this week was the announcement that the Saints will remain in New Orleans until 2010, if not longer. Governor Kathleen Blanco and the state of Louisiana, along with the team, have eliminated the early opt out clauses that another city would gladly pay to get the Saints out of New Orleans and a football team to their own city, say, like… Los Angeles.

It was just under 3 years ago that former NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue suggested there would be a team in Los Angeles by 2008. And we are not even a year away from when California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger declared he wants 2 teams, not just 1, to Los Angeles.

So what happened to the NFL to LA movement? It’s been talked about since 1994 when the Raiders left, and the NFL always seemed to bring it up. Now with the top possibility in the New Orleans Saints staying put for at least 3 more years and with the newest Collective Bargaining Agreement, I don’t see Los Angeles getting a football team any time soon. The new CBA runs through 2009 and gives possible candidates for Los Angeles like the Buffalo Bills or the Jacksonville Jaguars reason to stay in their current locales.

So who else could move? The Minnesota Viking have a rabid fan base and are extremely helped by that CBA. The Oakland Raiders and Al Davis have a lease through 2010. After that (and probably Al’s death), who knows what would happen. Kansas City, Indianapolis- no chance either.

That leaves me with San Diego. The city agreed to upgrade the football stadium in 1997 at a cost to taxpayers of $78 million. They also agreed to buy any unsold tickets, which has cost them more than $5 million in some years. 3 years later, Chargers’ owner Alex Spanos claimed he needed a completely new stadium. This could also be attributed, as some claim, to jealousy, as the San Diego Padres received almost $300 million in taxpayer money for their new stadium.

The city of San Diego is not going to publicly fund a new stadium for the Chargers, though. Alex Spanos and Dean Spanos (his son) know this, but they also know that if they pay back much of that $78 million by the end of this year, they can leave next year.

I’ve been to the 40-year-old Qualcomm Stadium (previously Jack Murphy). It’s obviously nothing special and the fans really aren’t either. I mean, it’s San Diego. Much of the population is from other cities and many of the rest couldn’t care less about football. Yes, like every team, they have their die-hards, but nothing to the extent of a Pittsburgh or a Washington or a Green Bay.

But this all brings me to my Major League point. In that great film the Cleveland Indians were the worst team in the league. No one cared, no one showed up at their games. Look at the New York Knicks of recent. Obviously they would never move, but the team sells out every single game for their lifetime and then they don’t make the playoffs one year and no one shows up. When support goes down, you can get out of Cleveland and maybe no one will care except for Randy Quaid.

Look at the Houston Oilers. They went 17-31 in the 3 years right before they moved to Tennessee. The Vancouver Grizzlies never had won more than 23 games in an entire season when they moved to Memphis. Even the Cleveland Browns, who were moved in the night and much against the city’s will, were a putrid 5-11 the year before they moved to Baltimore. It is very rare to see a 14-2 team move. There just is too much support behind them.

So if LA wants a team, they better hope LaDainian Tomlinson breaks both his legs falling on Phillip Rivers’ right arm as he is trying to inject Shawne Merriman with Steroids in front of a television news crew. But, after living in Los Angeles for almost 3 years now, I know that no one here really cares anyway. If you aren’t a transplant that likes some distant NFL team, you like the Raiders, and for very few, the Rams. You don’t pine for a team, you just deal with it. Cleveland cried so hard Tagliabue had to promise them a team by 1999 or he would have been responsible for the largest mass suicide in history. I don’t see any wristcutters in Los Angeles- well, not because of the lack of NFL, at least.

Tennis at Random

Published
by
Daniel-San
on March 27, 2007
in Tennis
. 2 Comments

“Hit the net like any Negro would.”

I don’t even know what that means and I don’t think Serena Williams did either, but she admitted it affected her. She won the 3rd Round Match in the Sony Ericsson Open, but not until after a heckler was ejected from the Tournament in Key Biscayne, FL.

For you racist people out there (you know who you are), please let me know what this means. I’m racking my brain trying to think why black people need to hit nets, but I can’t seem to find anything. This guy is definitely one of the worst hecklers in history and ranks up there with the guy at Clippers’ games that tells Tim Thomas he “sucks” every time he enters the game- even this late into his inaugural season with the Clips.

But this guy did do what most hecklers don’t do, and that’s messing up the hecklee. “I was shocked, I couldn’t believe it, ” said Serena. “I couldn’t believe it. I had to do a double take. I think I hit a double fault on that point.” So, according to that, this guy should actually go up in the Pantheon of Hecklers, not with the Tim Thomas guy.

Serena later went on to bring up something her and her handlers never bring up. “I shouldn’t have let it bother me because growing up in Compton we had drive-bys…” Really? You grew up in Compton? I never heard that before. I’ve never ever had it thrown in my face before. I wonder if it was hard growing up there… if only I could gain entrance to the post-match news conference and ask Serena, then I’d know. Eh, I guess I’ll have to hope someone else asks that or I’ll scour the archives to see if, maybe, the question was asked before. Eh, I won’t even check, I’m sure no one has brought up Compton when talking about one of the Williams Sisters before.

I wonder if Tony Parker is dating anyone, too. I also really want to know how A-Rod and Jeter’s relationship is doing. I hope someone asks about these things.

NFL at Random

Published
by
Daniel-San
on March 26, 2007
in NFL
. 0 Comments

A Tribute to Marshall Faulk, Fantasy Football Player

Marshall Faulk was Fantasy Football. Barry Sanders retired in 1998 and he never got any receptions anyway. That was a different time, though, when I was looking in The Buffalo News every Monday to get the box scores and tally up the points by hand. Then I would print out the standings and bring them into school on Wednesday, after I had gotten the stats from Monday Night Football as well. We had a total points league where people would often correct my math, not your common head-to-head leagues of today where everything is done by Yahoo! or ESPN or CBS Sportsline. So when everything started turning to online Fantasy Football and just when it started blowing up, there was Marshall- with 4 straight years of 2000+ yards and 80+ catches. Top pick in the Fantasy Draft, highest point scorer, you name it, Marshall was it. He was the first star of Fantasy Football.

Now if you ask a 17-year-old Fantasy “Guru” about Marshall Faulk, he’ll probably go on and on about how awful he was, how he was the biggest bust every year, and how these older guys in his leagues always picked him way too high. Well, they were just holding on. Holding on to the original Fantasy Football Star, the one who all of us loved, even if he was on the other team. Because you couldn’t hate Marshall. He was just too nice a guy, never getting in to any sort of arguments or trouble. He never showboated like the other players on his team. He was just Marshall. But to this idiot kid, he’s a backup, a guy who wasn’t even drafted in 160 picks in most drafts two years ago. And if he was drafted, well, they were just remembering the Marshall before he was laden with the curse of one John Madden, before he was on that cover that ruined his career, and ruined our Fantasy Stalwart.

Even if you were never lucky enough to have a top pick in your draft to get possession of Marshall, you know what I’m talking about. You hated playing against him, yet yearned for him ever so the following year. So I urge you Fantasy Players who ever checked a Newspaper box score to get your players’ stats or who watched NFL Primetime like a hawk to see if your Tight End got a touchdown instead of just going to ESPN.com, to bow your heads in memorial to the original Fantasy Star.

College Basketball at Random

Published
by
Daniel-San
on March 26, 2007
in College Basketball
. 0 Comments

I still don’t think Ohio State is that good.

All American Greg Oden (how did he get that? Solely based on Rep) still didn’t impress me, but Mike Conley and Ohio State pulled it out over a slasher-heavy Memphis team. I have never seen a team that just takes on people 1-on-1 like Memphis does since And 1’s last mix-tape. There was no offense. It was just streetball. And you people at Kentucky want John Calipari?

In the other game on that half of the bracket, North Carolina imploded (under Roy Williams? No way) and Georgetown dominated in overtime for the win. Now we get to see Oden against fellow future lottery pick Center Roy Hibbert. Hibbert is taller, and I think, less awkward offensively than Oden. Oden is the better defender, but did you see Hibbert dribble and drive this weekend? I haven’t seen a 7-foot guy dribble like that since Hakeem Olajuwon.

I feel like every in the media has fallen in love with Jeff Green. They talk about how he does so much more than what’s in the box score and how essential he is to Georgetown’s success. Well, it’s true. I don’t see how he doesn’t become a better version of Josh Howard in the NBA.

As for the game, I’m going to have to go with Georgetown, for several reasons. One, I think the Big Ten is awful. Two, when luck runs out for both of these teams, I think Georgetown has a better overall front line and sufficient enough guard play to win. Three, I can’t seem to root for Greg Oden. And Four, I don’t want anyone named “Thad” having anything to do with a College Basketball Championship Game.

For my 3rd point, I really wonder who these people are that are rooting for Oden. Unless you are an Ohio State Fan, I just can’t picture anyone rooting for him. Everything he does makes me dislike him more. He argues with the teacher when he gets a 49 out of 50 on a test, he leaves his fan on cold then uses blankets to stay warm (just don’t turn the fan on, Genius), he claims he has never shaved, and he seems like it’s such a burden to be playing basketball (which he’ll soon do for a living and be paid quite generously for it). There just is no redeemable qualities about him.

So if he fouls out with 3 minutes left and Ohio State makes a remarkable comeback without him, maybe I will be happy his team wins.

College Basketball at Random

Published
by
Daniel-San
on March 26, 2007
in College Basketball
. 0 Comments

I’m not going to talk about the thing on Tajuan Porter’s left ear.

Why would I? It has nothing to do with basketball. There is no reason to talk about the freakish growth at the bottom of Tajuan Porter’s ear. No reason at all. It’s not like it weighted him down when he went 0 for his first 8 from 3. And there’s no reason to assume they photo-shopped it out in his player profile picture on the Ducks’ web site. There is just absolutely no reason at all to talk about Tajuan Porter’s extra ear. This is a sports web site and we will talk about sports, not some gruesome growth under someone’s left ear. Seriously. No talk will be had about the disgusting fungus coming out from below Tajuan Porter’s left ear.

It’s not like it’s any more disturbing than Joakim Noah’s mom, anyway.

Thoughts at Random

Published
by
Daniel-San
on March 23, 2007
in NBA, Puja, TV and Thoughts
. 2 Comments

- Randolph Morris, the Junior Center from Kentucky who just went for 22 and 8 last Sunday against Kansas, signed with the New York Knicks for 2 years and $1.6 million. He was able to do this because he declared for the draft in 2005 after his Freshman year, went undrafted, then went back to Kentucky after serving a half-year suspension his Sophomore year. The NBA’s Collective Bargaining Agreement does not allow Morris to ever enter another draft, so he was actually a free agent the last two years.

Puja brought up the point that he could be the only player in history to play in both the NCAA Tournament and the NBA Playoffs in the same season.

- Gatorade has a new product/flavor called “Fierce”. I can just imagine the meeting where they came up with that one. A bunch of 50-year-old guys saying they need a name that’s really bold, really out there. Then one of them comes up with “Fierce” and none of their 20-something-year-old assistants have the decency to tell them what that word has become.

- In a related story, I was on Christopher Hewett’s Wikipedia page the other day (you might know him better as “Mr. Belvedere”) and it said he “was a devout Roman Catholic, a veteran of the Royal Air Force, and a lifelong bachelor.” ‘Bachelor’? Yeah, right- try “lifelong Homosexual”.

- Two disturbing dog killing stories caught my attention this week, as I am an avid dog lover. In one story, Lucky and Flo, two dogs in Malaysia on loan from the Motion Picture Association of America, sniffed out almost a million illegal DVD’s in about a week. They were then taken to a safe house because illegal DVD Producers put out a hit on them. That’s right, on a couple of dogs. There was no report on how much the bounty was for the dogs.

Then in St. Paul, Minnesota, Crystal Brown had lost her 4-year-old Australian Sheppard. She spent weeks searching for him. She even took the bus to the animal shelter if her Grandmother, who she lives with, couldn’t drive her. “I told him everything and he never shared any of my secrets, ” said Crystal, about the dog.

Then, about two weeks ago, a box with batteries on top of it showed up at her house. A note said “Congratulations Crystal. This side up. Batteries included.” She opened it up and, ala the movie Se7en, her dog’s severed head was inside, along with some Valentine’s Day candy.

Now this really isn’t funny at all. And it still might not be even if you realize that Crystal is 17-years-old. The dog definitely didn’t deserve that, but what 17-year-old tells secrets to their dog AND THEN is happy he didn’t divulge them to others?

I don’t know what the hell this girl did to deserve that, but I bet the Grandmother was involved somehow. It definitely was an inside job.

And now Crystal has a new puppy she named Diesel. Diesel is also an Australian Sheppard. “Hopefully he’ll be my best friend, ” Crystal said. Dude, Crystal, YOU’RE 17! Maybe if you didn’t act like a 6-year-old douche bag people wouldn’t behead your dog and put it on your doorstep. I’m sorry if I’m being insensitive, and I’m sorry for the dog, but COME ON, if anyone in the world deserved this fate, I’m going with Crystal Brown.

- You know that Oldies song “Hang On Sloopy” by The McCoys? You know it, “Hang on Sloopy, Sloopy hang on” (here’s the lyrics). I heard it today on the radio and realized what it was about: it’s about about a guy in love with a Retard. He even says “everybody there tries to put my Sloopy down”, but he just keeps telling her to “hang on” and “come on, come on”, like he’s calling a dog (or someone who is mentally challenged). And her name is “Sloopy”. If that’s not a name for someone who is a Retard, I don’t know what is.

College Basketball at Random

Published
by
Daniel-San
on March 23, 2007
in College Basketball
. 0 Comments

Let’s talk NCAA conspiracies.

Well, first let’s talk about how Acie Law IV screwed my entire bracket. I can’t believe I said the IV was a plus. It’s clearly a minus. This isn’t 1215 AD. You not only have to have one stupid person, not only two stupid people, but three really stupid, uncreative people to keep naming kids the same goddamn name. Make a freakin’ layup, Buddy.

The best part of that game was the match-up of A&M’s Dominique Kirk and Chris Douglas-Roberts, just so the announcers kept saying “Kirk Douglas-Roberts”, like if Kirk Douglas had a son with Julia Roberts and Kirk had no backbone.

UCLA, once again, wins and Aaron Afflalo often looks like the NBDL will be too difficult for him.

I enjoy Bruce Pearl. I enjoy the painting the chest, I enjoy the bright orange jackets, I even enjoy the pit stains- but what he did after the game Thursday night was uncalled for. In the post-game press conference Bruce Pearl told the media that his freshman forward Wayne Chism was supposed to set a pick at about mid-court to pull Greg Oden away from the basket on the last play. Chism sort of did a half-assed stand around the 3 point line and Oden followed the ball and got the game saving block. This is something you tell Wayne, something you tell your team or your assistant coaches, but don’t tell the media about how some 18-year-old kid ruined your season. You are the coach, Bruce. Maybe you needed to tell him twice, he can barely vote. That’s why college coaches get so much credit- but deserve most of the blame. (And by the way, Bruce, you had a time-out)

Now on to Conspiracy Theories. I have previously talked about how I believe that you have to be an idiot if you have followed the NCAA Tournament over the years and you don’t believe they set up intriguing match-ups, or at least the potential for ones, on purpose. UCLA/PITT, OSU/XAVIER, case in point (could have been a possible Southern Illinois/Illinois game this year, too). So, if one is to believe that, and I do, then I will attempt to show you how you can believe that the NCAA fixes games.

So, why would the NCAA want sexy, intriguing match-ups? Well, theoretically, the better the storyline for the media to build it up, the better the ratings. It’s even more than ratings, though, right? The NCAA wants people talking about the Tournament (just like the BCS makes them talk about College Football, even if it is in a negative light). Reading stories on web sites, making brackets, hearing about the Tourney on the radio, seeing it on TV, all of it builds its brand. Then the NCAA can license its games to CBS for $6 billion.

My argument is that the NCAA doesn’t want the mid-majors (the smaller market teams) to advance. The NCAA would love a final four of Duke, Kansas, Kentucky, and UCLA. But what about George Mason last year? They were the extremely popular Cinderella story that everyone was talking about. The NCAA should love that, it got people talking about them. True, but no one showed up to watch the games. Apparently people liked to talk about George Mason, but didn’t watch them get to the Final Four because they didn’t think they had a chance to win (or any number of reasons). Ratings were down 9% last year from 2005, which wasn’t a particular good year either.

So my position is that yes, talking about the games is great, but, like the NFL, the NCAA knows where the money comes from - Television. Bigger programs like North Carolina vs. Illinois draws better than Florida vs. George Mason.

This is why I think this year the NCAA set up first round games of Butler vs. Old Dominion, Creighton vs. Nevada - to eliminate these smaller teams as early as possible. And, this is where I’m going even further out on a limb, why Southern Illinois got screwed last night vs. Kansas. Twice Southern Illinois was hurt by shot-clock violations when it clearly was not a turnover and once Kansas scored when it should have been a shot-clock violation. Three separate occurrences, three obvious bad calls.

But hey, I don’t blame them. Kansas vs. UCLA will get a much better rating than Southern Illinois vs. UCLA.

Good luck tonight, Butler. You’ll need it.