Monthly Archive for April, 2007

Thoughts at Random

Published
by
Daniel-San
on April 24, 2007
in My Roommate, NBA, Rap and Thoughts
. 13 Comments

- Look closely… some skywriter drew a smiley face in the sky over Los Angeles one Saturday afternoon a few weeks ago. And people hate this city. Come on.

- In my NBA Awards column, I didn’t have Carlos Boozer as high as My Roommate because the Jazz struggled down the stretch. He pointed out that Boozer was still great. Well, he was right and is right- but look what happens when Mehmet Okur doesn’t do anything offensively (down 0-2 to Houston). His scoring was down in April, too, and the Jazz had a losing record. Yes, this doesn’t really matter for All-NBA Teams, but I would just like to point this out.

- You wanted it- you got it: Now it’s time to dig deep down into your soul and ask the Coreys whatever you want.

- I’m only doing this as a favor to My Roommate. He’s been singing this song for months. It’s his favorite song and his favorite hobby. So, without further Adu, here’s My Roommate’s Jam of the Year:

- Oh, and here’s Kobe Bryant’s favorite song:

- Look’s like one person almost saw what I saw this year in the Coach of the Year voting. (Pat Riley one 2nd Place vote)

NBA at Random

Published
by
Daniel-San
on April 23, 2007
in Detroit Pistons, Houston Rockets, NBA, Orlando Magic and Utah Jazz
. 0 Comments

Two games tonight. Why, in all your wisdom, King Stern, would you put the two most boring series on in the same night?

ORLANDO MAGIC AT DETROIT PISTONS

The fans in Detroit are booing Darko Milicic hard. Because that makes sense. They blame him for being a bust- and not Joe Dumars for picking him. (I guess it makes sense- the Ford Family and the Lions are also in Detroit. Something strange must be going on up there.) Darko said, “I don’t really care. Back home fans used to throw baseball (bats) at me. They used to try to kill me back home.” Looks like the bleach blonde look goes as far in Serbia-Montenegro as it does here.

Anyway, Game 1 saw Detroit win by 8- while Orlando pulled within 3 twice in the last minute and also missed 18 free throws. This is why I don’t see Detroit coming out of the East. They will play better, though. Orlando will win Game 3 in Orlando and that’s it.

UTAH JAZZ AT HOUSTON ROCKETS

Deron Williams almost had a triple-double in the 1st half. Then when the game ended, he still only almost had a triple-double. The Jazz fell apart (or T-Mac and Crew pulled it together) in the 2nd half and the Rockets won Game 1. I’m going to go with “the Jazz fell apart“. (you want to talk about a game changer- click that link, watch that video- that is Houston’s first lead since the 4:21 mark of the 1st Quarter- and they never relinquished the lead after that moment. Crazy)

Utah will play better at home and I see this series going 6, with Tracy McGrady finally getting to the 2nd Round- but he won’t be the reason. Name me anyone who can cover Yao Ming in the West. Or in the East for that matter.

NBA at Random

Published
by
Daniel-San
on April 21, 2007
in ESPN, Matt Ng, NBA and Neil
. 2 Comments

NBA Playoff Brackets

Unlike the NFL and the NHL, David Stern and the NBA apparently lies about not liking betting. His NBA Playoffs don’t reseed every round- just like the NCAA Tournament, so it’s great for Tournament Pools- but NBA Playoff Pools just haven’t taken off yet.

And I also noticed this when the “stars” of Sports at Random (Puja, Ryan, and My Roommate) all did not return my email wanting to be in the pool. BUT- the up and coming stars of Sports at Random did- so let’s have ourselves an NBA Playoff 2007 Tournament Pool.

Here’s how it works: 1 Point for getting a series right in Round 1, 2 Points for getting a series right in Round 2, 3 Points for getting a series right in round 3, and 4 Points for picking the Champion. Then you pick how long each 1st Round series will last for any tie-breakers.

So on to the Pools:

Neil - although he wanted to be called “Hekafoothegrandconqueror”, Neil is Sports at Random’s new Dating Correspondent. We will find out if he is not only a Ladies Man- but also a Sports Guy.

Detroit in 5

Miami in 7

NJ in 7

Cleveland in 5

Dallas in 4

Utah in 7

Phoenix in 6

San Antonio in 5

(I’ll reveal his other picks at a later date)

My ESPN Source - he has to remain shrouded in mystery, but his picks don’t.

Detroit in 5

Miami in 6

Cleveland in 6

Toronto in 6

Dallas in 5

Houston in 7

Phoenix in 7

Denver in 6

Matt Ng - the only truly published sports writer that has ever appeared on Sports at Random. He writes for The Journal News, the best damn paper in all of Westchester County.

Detroit
Chicago
Cleveland
New Jersey
Dallas
Houston
Phoenix
San Antonio

(he didn’t give me in how many games- in fact, out of the six people who were supposed to be in this pool with me, 3 didn’t respond and Neil and Matt Ng did not follow directions. Only Deep Throat AKA My ESPN Source complied correctly)

MY PICKS:

Detroit in 5

Chicago in 6

Toronto in 7

Cleveland sweeps

Dallas in 6

Houston in 6

Denver in 7

Phoenix in 6

More analysis coming after the Weekend…

NBA at Random

Published
by
Daniel-San
on April 19, 2007
in Chicago Bulls and NBA
. 1 Comment

In only a few minutes last night, the Chicago Bulls went from a possible 2-Seed and a much easier path to the Conference Finals, with the possible 6th overall pick (or even top 3 if the ping pong balls fall their way) to the 5th-Seed and a possible 10th overall draft pick (or lower even).

With Cleveland’s win and the Bulls’ loss to an inspired Nets team, the Bulls moved down and will now have to face Shaq and D.Wade in the 1st Round- not to mention Eddy Curry’s tip in against Charlotte, the very guy the pick was for, moving the Knicks’ pick (that goes to Chicago) to the 8-10 range.

The Bulls have just been so erratic all season, though. I could easily see them disposing of the Heat in 6 games. Will it happen? Many think not, but I see it going 7 either way.

The Bulls are a team that really intrigue me- presently, and their future. They didn’t make the Pau Gasol trade this year- maybe because they didn’t think Gasol was worth a max deal, maybe because they didn’t want to give up Luol Deng and Ben Gordon (or Hinrich), maybe because they saw the development of Tyrus Thomas, or maybe because they wanted that Knicks’ pick just to see if they could get Durant or Oden. Which ever way, they’re going to have enough money to re-sign Andres Nocioni and get another free agent, assuming they let go of Mike Sweetney (a given).

Now if I understand the Salary Cap correctly, and I think I do, the Bulls will be just under $47 million next year before re-signing Nocioni. This year the cap was just above $53 million and the luxury tax was at $65.42 million. There is that $12 million range where I would go right up to if I was an owner because I’m not getting taxed yet. What that soft salary cap at $53 million means is you have the ability to do things like offer mid-level exceptions and re-sign your own players and offer minimum deals to anyone if you are at or over it. So say the Bulls give Nocioni $7 million a year- well that would put them already above or just at the cap (assuming it only goes up about $1 million) and they would not be able to sign any outside free agents. BUT, if they signed someone like Anderson Varejao or Jamaal Magloire or Mikki Moore FIRST (for still under or at next year’s cap), then they could resign Nocioni and probably P.J. Brown and they’d still be under the luxury tax (even with their draft picks), which will probably go up to $67 million anyway. And then there’s always the mid-level.

Now it remains to be seen if Jerry Reinsdorf will go right up to the luxury tax threshold (or if it works exactly like I think), but this team will only be getting better. I’m not so sure I would have given up Deng and others for Gasol and I’m not so sure I would want KG on this team if it meant giving up the lottery pick and Deng and Gordon or Hinrich.

Obviously a lot will play out in the next few weeks and if they cannot get by the Heat, maybe you think you have to blow this team up- but even if they get by the Heat, I don’t see them then beating the Pistons after such a possibly rough series with Miami. Either way- I would keep this team as it is currently constituted- let your players develop a little more and either trade them when they are worth more, or re-sign them to bring championship glory back to Chicago.

But today still is a bad day.

NBA at Random

Published
by
Daniel-San
on April 18, 2007
in My Roommate and NBA
. 2 Comments
REGULAR SEASON AWARDS
with Me and My Roommate

With the NBA regular season basically done with- and to leave plenty of time for playoff talk, I decided to have the first Sports At Random NBA Regular Season Awards Post (SARNBARSAP- for short). There will be two opinions here- with some banter, then an open debate in the comments section afterwards, probably just between us, but every one is invited.

We are not going to do every category, for several different reasons. No Rookie of the Year because it’s obviously Brandon Roy. No Most Improved because that is a strange category. Who gives out an award that says “You sucked last year”? Only the NBA. Also no Defensive Player of the Year because we didn’t watch every game and neither do the people who actually vote for that award and just give it to Marcus Camby or Jermaine O’Neal because they got a lot of blocks.

So, without further Adu, let’s move on to the Awards (I will be in regular type and My Roommate will be in Italics- because that’s more fruity):

MVP:
3. Chris Bosh - Phoenix not only has Nash, but All-Stars Marion and Amare- who is ridiculous. San Antonio has Manu, Parker, and Duncan. Utah has Okur, Deron, and Boozer. Houston has Yao and T-Mac. Detroit has Chauncey, Rasheed, Tayshaun, Webber, Rip, and McDyess (having a great year off the bench). Chicago has Gordon, Deng, Hinrich (Ben Wallace, too). All of these teams have good to great players (plural, not singular). Toronto has no Center, a good rookie in Bargnani, who got hurt- same with Jorge Garbajosa, and a guy who played in Europe last year as their #2 option (Anthony Parker). Yes, their PG play has been good, with T.J. Ford and an underrated Jose Calderon, but every single NBA GM would take Chauncey, Nash, Deron, and Hinrich over those players combined.

2. Lebron James - see above, but an even stronger argument.

1. Dirk Nowitzki - he does have Josh Howard, but the Mavs have been head-and-shoulders above the rest of the league for much of the season. They have been dominant- and Dirk is the main reason. He’s really changed his game (shoots way less 3’s) and upgraded it (better defense and decision making)- things that a player needs to do for his team to win. He is a nightmare to match-up with and doubling him lets Howard and Terry do what they do. Oh, yeah, and he’s shooting over 50%.

MY ROOMMATE:

Bosh wouldn’t get my vote simply because I think anyone who’s arguing for him is using clauses that historically get disregarded when it comes to MVP voting. You make solid observations….. his less then great teammates, his exceeding expectations this season (as opposed to Lebron underperforming higher individual expecations), his great statistical year… all feathers in his cap.

But then he’s a watered down weaker version of 2006’s logic that Lebron and Kobe shouldn’t have been considered for the most votes for #1 last year. A 50 win team for the Cavs wasn’t good enough even though Lebron was the most impressive player statistically last year when considering the big three (ppg, rpg, apg) leaguewide. The Suns were a better team. Mavs, too. That’s what kept coming up. Nash made the guys around him better they argued. They all had great stat years. The best of their careers. People can convincingly argue Bosh didn’t do that to the Raptors, since they guys who’ve emerged are all rookies or new additions, and having a true floor general (Ford), a potential Coach Of the Year, and some valuable role guys (Bargnani, Jorge, Parker, Dixon) is certainly a factor as to what helped them make such a big leap. Not just a better year from Bosh. They made drastic changes to that rotation on the Raptors. To me, if Lebron was #3 last year, a guy like Bosh might not even make my top 5 using that same logic this year.

I just want consistent reasoning when deciding. Is it individual or team? Or if both matter, which one takes precedent? Is it the five best players in the league, or the five guys who would affect their team the most if they were removed from the roster of their specific team. My feelings: It’s an individual award. It should be the five best guys in the league based first on stats, and then turn to team related stuff (record, guys around him, etc.). It should be that simple. But it isn’t. Because people always make disclaimers and argue the angle that supports who they picked or who they want to win. They’ll turn around and argue the opposite the next year. As far as I’m concerned, the first consideration needs to be paid to what they do individually. And then the team argument/record argument should be turned to when it’s too close to call on statistical domination alone. My ballot:

5. Duncan/McGrady (i think bosh and boozer are right here too, but I turn to the team and I think that’s where I go with McGrady if I had to pick one)
4. Kobe or Lebron (Kobe cause his team is worse then Lebron’s)
3. Kobe or Lebron (I give the nod to LBJ cause of his team)
2. Nash

1. Dirk


COACH OF THE YEAR:
Pat Riley - D.Wade and Shaq were hurt for much of the year and they still win their division going away. Is Jason Kapono really a good player? Chris Quinn even started one game this year for the Heat. So when Wade went down was the season over? Nope. Riles took a bunch of “washed up” Guys (Mourning, Walker, Williams, Jones, Posey… Shaq) and led them to the 4-Seed.

Avery Johnson - His team was amazing. Again. Rivaled the best teams off all-time. Your candidate is your weakest argument. The Heat won a shit (I apologize for his obvious disregard for the children reading) division. You don’t get COY for being the 5th best team in what people call the weak conference. Especially with Shaq/Wade (who still played well over half the year) and a team coming off a title full of “savvy veterans”. Not to mention he didn’t even coach the whole year and they got Jones for nothing mid year. He’s no scrub.

1st Team- All NBA
G: Kobe Bryant
G: Steve Nash
C: Amare Stoudemire
F: Dirk Nowitzki
F: Lebron James

G: Kobe Bryant
G: Steve Nash
C: Yao Ming
F: Dirk Nowitzki
F: Lebron James

Yao didn’t even play 50 games. He’s nowhere to be found on any of my Teams.

But when Yao was healthy, he’s hands down the best in the league at his position. And he doesn’t split time like Amare with Kurt Thomas at the PF spot, or play limited minutes or disappear until he’s needed like Shaq.

2nd Team - All NBA
G: Gilbert Arenas
G: Tracy McGrady
C: Mehmet Okur
F: Tim Duncan
F: Chris Bosh

Curry, as far as I’m concerned, is a much better option for All-NBA then Okur. Okur is a great shooter, but he’s nowhere near the low post threat that Curry is, just as weak a rebounder, and he wouldn’t get nearly as many open looks if Boozer didn’t present a low post alternative. Not to mention Curry’s pretty nimble for being so thick.

I hate the Centers. The league doesn’t play 1-5 anymore. It’s just a bunch of guys out there. Tim Thomas plays Center, Shawn Marion plays Center- lineups change all the time, there always isn’t a 5 in there, maybe not even starting. I think it should be just top 5 players. If they all happen to be PG’s, so be it. But realistically, I think they should just go 2 G’s and 3 F’s/C’s. Defining what is and isn’t a Center is ridiculous- the NBA isn’t like that anymore.

G: Dwyane Wade
G: Tracy McGrady
C: Amare Stoudemire
F: Carlos Boozer
F: Tim Duncan

Boozer, statistically, is debatably better then Bosh on a better team in a tougher conference. Also, this is something that I don’t begrudge, but rather accept as an unfortunate reality. It’s the peaking early vs. peaking late factor. If you’ll remember, early in the season, Boozer was being strongly touted as THE potential MVP. Not to five even, but possibly number one. The Jazz started really strong. They were leading the West. He showed he was healthy and solid, and he got a lot of love from the press. But when your team excels early you set the expectations bar too high. When you excel late, people forgive your apparent under-performance early in the year. Even without Boozer’s individual play falling off, his team’s leveling off made it seem like there was some kind of regression associated with the Jazz. They reality is they could have just played far above expectations at the beginning of the season when everyone was forming their opinions of who should be stacked where (ala Orlando early on). His team’s early success hurts him far more, then the Raptors early season struggles hurt Bosh. It’s the “what have you done for me lately” debate. It shouldn’t factor into an award that takes into account an entire season’s worth of work, but it does. Because the Raptors are pouring it on late, just like Lebron did last season, Bosh is getting his attention now when it matter and guys like Boozer are the victims of delivering back in September and October as opposed to getting their “big” performances out there when ballots are due.

Though your argument has truth to it- as every regular season game counts the same- every minute of every game counts the same, but what makes people hate A-Rod is his HR’s in 8-0 games and fly outs in 4-4 games. Same goes for time of year or time of game. Yes, game 8 counts the same as game 75, but Kobe getting 25 points in the 1st quarter is a lot different than in the 4th quarter. I hope you see my point, despite me mostly agreeing with you.

3rd Team - All NBA
G: Jason Kidd
G: Vince Carter
C: Eddy Curry
F: Kevin Garnett
F: Carlos Boozer

G: Gilbert Arenas
G: Vince Carter
C: Dwight Howard (part of me thinks I should have gone with Shaq)
F: Chris Bosh
F: Kevin Garnett

Dwight Howard disappointed me many times this season. He disappeared for long stretches and even games- though I admit he is better than these other guys (they just had good years). I really wanted to not even include Okur and Curry on this list and add in Shawn Marion and Carmelo Anthony, but, knowing I had to get rid of somebody, I just think Boozer did play great this year and deserves it.

As far as Jason Kidd and Vince Carter go, I really didn’t want two Nets on my 3rd Team, but you can’t look at it that way- you just have to go with who deserves it- and they did over Deron Williams and a barely 50-game playing Dwyane Wade. Yes, he was good this year, but the Heat were barely .500 when he did and I want people who played at least 70% of their team’s games on my top Teams for this season.

Thoughts at Random

Published
by
Daniel-San
on April 17, 2007
in NBA, NBA Draft 2007 and Thoughts
. 0 Comments



- LA does have a small Subway system (Metro), but no one really uses it. It also pretty much stays far away from the nicer areas, so it is very limited. But the thing that gets me on it, is it’s based on the Honor System. There are no turnstiles. You buy your ticket, just like any other Subway, then you can just walk down to the train. And I know many trains work like this, but the conductor always comes around and punches your ticket. I’ve never even seen a Conductor, a Cop, or a Security Guard on the Metro- ever. And I take the Metro to the Staples Center often. Now I’m not complaining because I’ve transfered illegally, but Los Angeles is the last place on earth you should be running something on the Honor System.

- I know the Knicks are trading 1st Round Picks with Chicago this year, but I keep forgetting that losing does nothing for them, not even a better 2nd Round Pick because they gave that one up, too, in the Eddy Curry trade (which Chicago traded to Philly in the Rodney Carney trade). So the Bulls are going to possible get Oden or Durant and the Sixers have 4 picks in the top 35-40. The Knicks, meanwhile, will surely sign Matt Barnes to a 5 year mid-level deal and draft Big Baby Davis.

- Some lady hit my car and this is what the Insurance company gave me to drive around for a week. Don’t be jealous.

- There are a lot of people, many of whom know a lot more about basketball than me, promoting Marcus Camby for Defensive Player of the Year. I call these people: IDIOTS. Marcus Camby is a good defender like Patrick Ewing was- a great off-man defender. What I mean by that is Patrick played great defense if he could roam and block the shots of people who would drive in the lane or when he went off his own man and doubled some other guy. Marcus gets a ton of blocks and a ton of rebounds, but go ask any Center in the league if they are afraid to play against him. He’s not a person who changes the game. I don’t see how these so-called “analysts” can promote him for this award.

NBA at Random

Published
by
Daniel-San
on April 16, 2007
in Los Angeles Clippers, NBA and Sacramento Kings
. 0 Comments

I witnessed NBA tanking with my own eyes- or should I say, young player development.

In yesterday afternoon’s pathetic loss to the Sacramento Kings, the LA Clippers fell to the 9th spot and out of the playoffs- and probably a lottery pick in June. They were down by 19 at halftime (when I got there) and down by 24 half way through the 3rd quarter.

But then the mighty Clippers mounted a comeback- or did Eric Musselman, coach of the Kings, try to lose the game? Here was Musselman’s 4th quarter lineup- John Salmons at PG, Quincy Douby at the other G, Francisco Garcia at SF, Ron Artest at PF, and Justin Williams at C. This was THE ENTIRE 4TH QUARTER. Not one substitution. Even when the Clippers got it within 4, he left out starters Mike Bibby, Shareef Abdur-Rahim, Kevin Martin, and Brad Miller. Now the man whose glass is half-full would say, “He was trying to teach his young players how to win and he had no risk of what the win or loss meant.” Then the man whose glass is half-empty would say, “Tank job.”

I’m not saying either one. I’m just saying Musselman made the game exciting because his starters were blowing out the Clips. And if Francisco Garcia doesn’t make a couple of big 3-point shots or one of Ron Artests 20-foot jumpers clanked off, the GSW would be mighty angry right now.

But for now, Oaktown could be seeing a fantastic 1-8 match-up against former Nellie employer and, apparently, current nemesis Mark Cuban and the Dallas Mavericks. The GSW are ahead by 1 game with 2 to play, but they play a Dallas team with nothing to play for and a young and injured Portland team. The Clippers own the tie-breaker, but this loss was just a complete smack in the face. They play Phoenix and New Orleans, but I don’t see the GSW losing, so it doesn’t matter if they were playing the New York Liberty and the Washington Generals, I don’t see the Clippers making the playoffs anymore.

It’s a sad end to an even sadder season- one where supposed future PG Shaun Livingston had one of the most horrific knee injuries imaginable, big time off-season signing Tim Thomas just chilled at the 3-point line, Center Chris Kaman seemed to go backwards in development, and Coach Mike Dunleavy didn’t figure out Corey Maggette is a great offensive player until way after the trading deadline (I have to say though- his defense, in general, not just for a guy his size and athleticism, is AWFUL. When my girlfriend asks me why Corey jumped the wrong way when his man made a quick stutter step and shot, you know you have problems).

The Clippers can’t do much this off-season (with Kaman’s extension kicking in and Donald Sterling as the owner), and I don’t really see a rookie getting big minutes on this team. I don’t really see any holes. They really aren’t awful on defense. Elton is solid and Mobley has improved greatly since Charles Barkley said a couple years ago that he’s “instant offense- on both ends of the court.” It just seems like they don’t try. The games have little to no excitement to them throughout and I don’t think it’s just the fans’ fault.

And Greg Oden is not going to help with the excitement. Kevin Durant and then trading Mobley or Maggette could be, though.

NHL at Random

Published
by
Daniel-San
on April 15, 2007
in Buffalo Sabres and NHL
. 8 Comments

The overall #1 seeded Buffalo Sabres split at home and now must go down (and across) to Long Island to face the Islanders for the next 2 games. And 15-year Islander Goalie Rick DiPietro is back from his concussion and 1-0 so far in the playoffs.

The Sabres got out shot early, and then the Islanders’ forechecking in the neutral zone stymied the Sabres… ok, I got nothing. I know hockey, I used to watch a lot of hockey, I can analyze hockey- but I haven’t watched 10 full games in about 7 years.

I used to. I used to go to 5 games a year and watch a bunch more. I went to about 7 games during the 1999 playoffs, the year the Sabres lost to the Stars in the Cup in the famous “No Goal” Game 6 (I was not at that game, but my father was. He was sitting about 10 rows up and still maintains to this day that the Refs never even had a chance to review that goal because one of the Referees got hit in the face with something hard and was bleeding everywhere. The other Refs huddled around him and got him towels to stop the bleeding. There’s no way they were going to review that goal to help out the team who just had a fan hit a Ref in the face- they wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible).

So now that I’ve been away from Buffalo since 2000 and only really check box scores and watch highlights if I can (obviously I don’t get any Sabres games in Los Angeles), is it still ok to bask in their glory? Is it ok to suddenly talk hockey once the playoffs have started? Is it ok to go to Hooters to watch the playoff games and cheer like a loss would ruin my world?

I’m not a fake fan- I’m from Buffalo. I love watching hockey, I just don’t get the chance to anymore. But now I feel like one of those fans that I resent so much that just now start paying attention to the NBA or only tune into the Tournament for College Basketball. I hate people like the hockey me, so I don’t know what to do. I checked the box scores, I looked at the Standings every week. So I didn’t know who any of our call-ups from Rochester were, I don’t get Sabres talk on my radio- all I get is Lakers talk, 24/7. Of course I don’t know these things.

So should I just stop rooting all together? This is a team that I’ve loved since I was 12 years old- I screamed when I found out they traded Alexander Mogilny in 7th grade. It made me beam with pride when Michael Peca refused the Eastern Conference Trophy in ‘99, because we had one more series to win. But now I know more about former NBA fat man Oliver Miller than Sabres Goalie Ryan Miller.

I hate what I’ve become, but I don’t care. I will root for the Sabres. I will watch as many games as I can. I will read up on Drew Stafford. I will listen to Barry Melrose. And if the Sabres and Anaheim Ducks make it to the Stanley Cup Finals- I will go to the games.

NFL at Random

Published
by
Daniel-San
on April 12, 2007
in Baltimore Ravens, Buffalo Bills and NFL
. 5 Comments

Jannie Jones had 3 different sons with 3 different fathers. She preached to her offspring, “No outside kids”, but it didn’t seem to work.

After Baltimore Ravens RB Willis McGahee had his first child out of wedlock 2 years ago, she knew to step in and talk to her son. “I had a heart-to-heart with him after the first (child), ” said Willis’ Mother, Jannie. “After the second one, and after the third one. And I told him, ‘no more’.”

So 3 kids and 3 mothers later, Willis doesn’t seem to be listening to his own mother. But Jannie speaks the truth. “Willis isn’t ready for a wife. He’s not even ready for kids.” Well, good luck with 3 then.

But Ravens fans are hoping Willis is ready to make a trip back to Buffalo during Week 7 this year, as the Ravens visit the Bills that Sunday afternoon. This is the same Buffalo Willis flew out of immediately after the season ended, leaving his Mother to deal with everything that had to be sewn up. “I couldn’t wait to get out of there, ” the 25-year-old RB stated.

Oh, Willis, tell us more about Buffalo. “Coming from Miami, I was used to partying, going out, just having something to do every night. Restaurants, whatever. Going to Buffalo, it was like hitting a brick wall. Like, ‘Damn!’ Can’t go out, can’t do nothing. There’s an Applebee’s, a TGI Friday’s, and they just got a Dave & Busters. They got that, and I’m like, ‘What the?’ And, you know, the women…”

Willis, easy. Don’t make fun of the women in Buffalo- you’ll never make it out of there alive. And have you never been to Chippewa? You need to go Downtown, Willis. You were just hanging out in Orchard Park. That’s the suburbs, you Moron. You don’t see Tom Brady complaining about Foxboro. Of course not, he knows you don’t go out in Foxboro.

“You see, when I was in college, that’s what I used to thrive off of.” (The women? Really? No wonder the Stones are still touring.) Willis went on, “The better you do, the more fame you get. So, you know, it was like, I was used to that. And then you get to Buffalo and no matter how you do, it’s the same.”

Wait a minute, Willis. You mean to tell me that in Buffalo, they treated you the same no matter how good you did? How awful! You were treated the same as everyone else? How did you even live?! You could go out and score 3 Touchdowns and then go out the next game and fumble 4 times and they would still treat you like a normal human being, neither especially good or especially bad? That’s awful, Willis. Truly. Good thing you moved on. Hopefully Baltimore is much more fickle than Buffalo was.

Thoughts at Random

Published
by
Daniel-San
on April 11, 2007
in Movies and Thoughts
. 0 Comments

The Elisabeth Shue Version

- I’m sure many of you already know, but Elisabeth Shue is ready to become a professional tennis player. She says she doesn’t want to be in the U.S. Open, or anything like that, but she’d like to be competing professionally, at any level. “I’ve been training so hard, now I feel like more of a tennis player than an actress.” Maybe you feel like that because you make less than one movie a year and when you do, it’s ones like Dreamer.

- In remake news, once again Hollywood is breaking my heart. Raven (she goes by one name now- you know, Raven Symone, the little girl from The Cosby Show- and not Rudy) will be playing Elisabeth Shue’s part in a remake of Adventures in Babysitting. Miley Cyrus AKA Hannah Montana (I wish I had to look that up) will also be in the film, possibly playing that chick who tries to buy a wiener (”You slip me the cash, and I’ll slip you the wiener.” “I don’t have any cash.” “Well then I don’t have a wiener!”… ahhh, the 80’s).

Word is that instead of getting trapped at a Blue’s Club and not being able to leave without singing the Blues, Raven and crew get trapped in a Really Crappy Pop Music Club and can’t leave without singing some.

- In a tragic related story, Elisabeth now regrets saying the immortally classic line, Don’t fuck with the Babysitter!” Apparently her 3-year-old kid says it all the time now. Why is this kid watching that movie, anyway, if you don’t want him to hear swear words? It’s not like, “Oh, why did I say that word 20 years ago?! Why?! I can do nothing about it! My 3-year-old child who can’t turn on the TV, nonetheless find my collection of DVD’s and put in this particular film and not have me watching him for an hour because that’s how far in the movie the swear is and for me not to notice he’s watching it- why?!”

Elisabeth, let’s just say you’re lucky he didn’t watch Leaving Las Vegas.