Sports At Random

Checking my email late one evening several weeks ago, I came across a scathing rant addressed to a “Daniel-san”, which is my blogging nom de plum, obviously not my real name, nor how I should be addressed when being attacked personally.

The assailant was a person who signed off as “Ja Skillz”, but had claimed the nickname of “Daniel-san” as an alias… an alias he used as a Rapper (he also claimed “The Elite”, “The Franchise”, and “The Commissioner”). He wanted me to cease using the name “Daniel-san” to write posts… immediately.

After a few entertaining- but vicious- emails back and forth, I became very intrigued about this “Rapper” and asked him to send me some of his stuff. A week after I quickly turned down his offer for me to buy an album for $35, he sent along a couple of songs and this “Bio”:

Born in the dead of winter in the rugged streets of Buffalo, NY, Ja Skillz learned to fend for himself by the time he was a mere toddler and moved to the 6 Mile neighborhood in Detroit, MI (2 Miles tougher than Eminem’s neighborhood). After hustling for 2 and a half years, he moved to Trenton, NJ to sell crack. During the infamous crack shortage of 1996, he was forced to move back home to South Buffalo to run drugs in from the nearby Canadian border. After three years in Juvey, he tried to set himself straight and get into the Rap game. After spending an entire year working on the now classic album “Where’s My Forty Acres and a Mule?” (2002) in the ghetto of Syracuse, NY, he was shot eleven times (2 more than Fifty) in a beef that stemmed back to his days hustlin’ in the streets of Detroit. He was in a coma for 16 months, lost his ability to smell and hear, but was still able to make a strong comeback with the hit “Norwood Wide Right”.

At this point, I was disappointed, a little amused, but mainly just disappointed that this whole thing was nothing more than a hoax. I figured the songs were dangerous viruses and I didn’t download them… until a week later when “Skillz” emailed me:

Have you listened to the tracks yet? What do you think?

He seemed serious. So I went to the Library and downloaded the files on that computer.

And what I found has to be the only Rap song ever that is solely about the game of Golf.

I thought now, right before the British Open, would be the perfect time to unveil this song, as Skillz even references Jean Van De Velde, the man who we last saw at Carnoustie (also the site of this year’s Open Championship), gracing us with “the least clutch moment in all of sports.”

Even if Ja Skillz is trying to make up a persona, he actually recorded this… he actually wrote it out, made a beat (although it’s tough to hear sometimes because of poor audio quality)- I no longer cared what lies he was telling me or what stories he was making up- you can’t lie about a song. I can hear it. He actually made this gem. And by “gem”, I mean… well… you’ll see.

So, without further ado, here’s Ja Skillz- with “Game’s Displayin’”:

Ok, so maybe it is a virus.

(I’m actually slightly entertained- the reference to Tom Watson’s 1982 U.S. Open chip, rapping about Arnold Palmer being Golf’s first millionaire, a random Mike Myers SNL reference- it’s just messed up… but strangely appealing. I don’t really know what to say.)

Link to song